Star of the Day - from early 2008

http://www.rteguide.ie/2008/0316/staroftheday.html

It was raining hard. Blinded by the downpour and his tears, Keith Duffy could barely see the road ahead. It was then he rang his older brother. He thinks that curious now -after all they're chalk and cheese - but it was an almost instinctive decision. "Derek's a rock of sense and knows me through and through and he talked me home." There Keith broke the news about their daughter, Mia, to his wife Lisa. "She was so shocked that she hit out at me. And that is when our white-knuckle rollercoaster ride started."

The story of Keith Duffy is well documented. He is the former Boyzone star who reinvented himself on TV through acting roles in Coronation Street and The Clinic. He is also an empathetic judge on You're A Star and a salt-of-the-earth Dub. Sure, there have been some dodgy career moves - what was The Box all about? - but he remains perhaps the best loved of the boyz, an affection tempered by his own family story.

Keith and Lisa are parents to Jordan (nearly 11) and Mia (eight this week). In recent years they have worked tirelessly in raising awareness and funding (nearly €4 million to date) for Irish Autism Action (IAA). This charity is particularly dear to them as their daughter Mia lives with the condition. Last year, Mia went back into mainstream education - a "miracle" that was achieved through Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA), a special individualised programme in which major goals are broken down into achievable smaller ones. Even so, it has been a see-saw, seven years or so.

Recently on Morning Ireland Duffy expressed his frustration with the Government's policy on autism. Since then his attitude has softened. "They are listening to us now," he says. "What we want is: if a psychologist is assessing a child, whatever type of schooling the psychologist - whether independent or state - prescribes for that particular child, we just want that education (whether ABA or something else) to be available to that child. In other words, recognising that each individual child has specific needs. Our schools are ABA ones but we are not blinkered to other forms of education that will help the children. We are not setting the Government up for a fall. We are just parents of autistic children who want the best for our kids."

Mia Duffy was diagnosed with moderate autism at eighteen months. For some time beforehand Keith had his suspicions. At times it seemed as if Mia was deaf. Other times she would put her blanket over her head when she ventured outdoors. "I knew there was something wrong, but I didn't know what it was," says Keith. "Then a mate of mine asked me to support a charity."Coincidentally, that charity was autism. Duffy quizzed his friend. The more he asked, the more he recognised Mia's condition. "My friend's wife spoke with me for an hour or so and at the end of that I knew that Mia was autistic. I began to get upset but my big worry was telling Lisa. Afterwards as I drove home I cried like I hadn't cried in years. That was the worst ever day of my life."

It took Lisa a while to come to terms with Mia's autism. She had already tentatively mapped out her daughter's future. The schools she would go to. The friends she would hang out with. The life she would live. "I felt utterly cheated and I was very angry," she says. "I had this beautiful boy and then I had this beautiful girl and I felt that this cannot be happening to us. So I went into denial. I didn't go out, home became my safe place. It took me eight months to get the fight in me. I realised then that the only way to move forward was to not be selfish about what I thought I wanted for Mia. I realised that I have this beautiful, happy, easy-going and fun-loving child. And I'm very lucky, because Mia and I have a great relationship."

When we meet, Duffy's left hand is still swollen and stitched, after an accident in the gym when he dropped a dumb-bell on it. "Shit happens, man," he says and shrugs. He has been in worse places. He's in training for the Boyzone reunion (there is a strong possibility that he might have to rip off his shirt at some stage this summer) and it's paying off. Since November he has shed over two stone in weight. "I always struggled with my weight because for a long time I liked the good life, partying and drinking," he says. "But now I feel like a new man."

Looking good is important to Duffy. Not just because of his profession - it also stokes his confidence. There was a time when that was at a low ebb. "With Boyzone you were put up on a stage where people ridiculed you and you were in constant competition with four of your mates," he says. "I knew what my weak points were and did not let them get the better of me. I'm not insecure any more. I could walk into a room now and not be unnerved at all. The band was great fun but Lisa was the reality in my life."

Lisa and Keith Duffy will be ten years married this June. They have known each other for more than fifteen years (she is four years older than him). She still remembers the first time he told her about his showbiz ambitions. "He used to call into the shop where I was working. One day he told me that he was going for an audition for a boy band and I said, 'you must be joking'. But Keith was always someone who looked at the positive side of things. We have been though good times and bad times but each time we have got though it. I'm probably more in love with Keith now than I ever was."

For Keith, Boyzone was always unfinished business. "Boyzone is something that I need to do right now because we never broke up," he says. "There was no resolution. We need to do another tour, release some more music, give the fans what they want, reminisce on the great times that we had and remember them. It's also about the excitement and the adrenalin rush of going back on stage. The chants of 'Boyzone!, Boyzone!' To experience all that again with the lads will be awesome."

After the break-up his world wobbled on its axis. "It was hard for Keith when it ended," says Lisa. "It was hard for him to be an individual again: to work for himself and get back to reality." Ronan Keating - who was pursuing a solo career - was seen as the one who pulled the pin on the band. In the immediate aftermath, Duffy found it difficult to forgive or forget. But that is all water under the bridge now. "I did have to sit down and think about it," he says of the reunion. "It has been coming about eighteen months when we had the initial meetings. I said that I would certainly do it, but I would not be the one to push it forward."

Duffy - on screen and in person - is a straight-up, no-nonsense kind of guy. Likeable, too. His ultimate ambition, after the Boyzone business is wrapped, is to be a full-time actor. Despite no formal training he believes that he can succeed: it's all about raising the bar each time. Game shows. Reality TV. Then, bingo, a three year stint on Coronation Street ("the best apprenticeship ever") where, after a ropey start, he rapidly learnt the ropes. His performance in RTÉ drama, The Clinic, was he believes, his best to date.

Then, on the back of his work in the play, Dandelions, he was offered a major role in a UK touring production of Sleuth last year. He turned it down as he had already committed to Boyzone. "Something similar will pop up again," he reasons. In any case there's always the possibility of a return to The Rovers. "The doors are still open in Corrie for me to go back," he says. "I might do that if the right opportunity arises."

After the Guide photo-shoot father and son race each other across the RTÉ campus. "I was only 21 when Jay was born so he's like me mate as well as my son," says Keith. "He's a big Manchester United fan and so am I." Lisa ambles along with her daughter. In May, Mia will celebrate her First Communion. It is a significant landmark and one at which the Duffy family will pop the champagne and the fizzy lemonade. After all, the dark times were not that long ago. "I remember one day, not long after Mia was diagnosed, driving past a church," says Lisa. "There was a load of little girls coming out after making their communion. I just burst out crying and Keith asked me why. I said: 'Is Mia ever going to maker her Holy Communion?' 'Of course she is,' he said. 'You just have to take this day by day'."